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poem by suzukoyan

Literature by DrkSorceress

To Read by ViralEpidemic


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Submitted on
July 16, 2012
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2,096
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"Corporations are evil!"

"Corporations are evil!"

Say the little children in a sing song voice,

The parents wonder as the children rejoice.

 

What has inspired this strange song?

Why are corporations so very wrong?

Which child started and when will it end?

And how can they see that they pretend?

 

One child had skipped through the village, singing,

And soon, to the tune the church bells were ringing.

Such a catchy tune it was hard to not hum,

A protest is catchy, it's an old rule of thumb.

 

We are the down-trodden and angry masses,

Our tune is carried by every man that passes.

We are the oppressed masters of the future,

We shall not be quietly pushed to the corner!

 

It all began with a simple child's song,

And now the angry protest has begun.

It all began with a naive little lover,

And now they are the mightiest fighter!

Written for :iconwordofchen: 's Dilemma. DeviantART have seen fit to push him to the corner of their site, due to his work being highly praised.
They seemingly only do this for Literature works, and not others, due to their own personal preferences.
So: I will not bow, I will not break, I will shut the world away~ ENGARDE I SAY!
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
I like the idea, a lot. I mean, when it stands aside from your stance on Chen, it's really intriguing. In the same way I like poems about wretched men talking about how they are going to go out and break a heart (opposed to a broken hearted poem) I found this special, as a cry for mass mentality to stop (opposed to a call against bureaucracy.)

One line you wrote: Which child started and when will it end? / And how can they see that they pretend? I understand the structure, because pretend rhymes with end- but I'm not sure it is necessarily the best word choice. My interpretation, at least, wasn't that they were pretending- but living a fallacy. Of course, the writer's always right, huh? :)

My favorite stanza is the second to the last. The words carry the power you had intended.

Stylistically, I love how again and again you brought up the notion of music. "Sing song voice" "to the tune the church bells were ringing" "our tune is carried by every man that passes" "began with a simple child's song. The song idea forms an unseen glue which helps hold your piece together. I like it. Good job.
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21 out of 21 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconi-lost-my-way:
I-Lost-My-Way Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I will not fall, I will not fade, I will take your breath away~!
And take it away you did, good sir! As always: Well done!
(and I LOVE your taste in music! :aww: )
Reply
:iconkevinlee11:
kevinlee11 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I like the metaphorical imagery you used; gets the message across very clearly.
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:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012
Ah, there's another which is MUCH more metaphorical XD
"Here There Be Monsters" XD
Reply
:iconbakuspirit:
BakuSpirit Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist
En garde indeed :nod:
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:iconwindspeck:
windspeck Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful. So much better than the over-emotional drivel that you usually see in free verse.
Hope in deviantart literature: restored.
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
:iconbowplz: Take a look at some of my other work? :)
I don't really like this one if I'm honest ^^"
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:iconwindspeck:
windspeck Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I did. This one is actually my favourite C: It's not the language in particular (I write prose, I couldn't care less about poetic language lol) but the theme.
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:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
Then look at Anonymous? And meh, I'm posting one that's this but metaphorical ^^"
The dA staff are dragons XD
Reply
:iconacousticrose:
AcousticRose Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
sorry can't favourite it more than once :(
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:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
Awww, you're adorable <3
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