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"Corporations are evil!"

"Corporations are evil!"

Say the little children in a sing song voice,

The parents wonder as the children rejoice.

 

What has inspired this strange song?

Why are corporations so very wrong?

Which child started and when will it end?

And how can they see that they pretend?

 

One child had skipped through the village, singing,

And soon, to the tune the church bells were ringing.

Such a catchy tune it was hard to not hum,

A protest is catchy, it's an old rule of thumb.

 

We are the down-trodden and angry masses,

Our tune is carried by every man that passes.

We are the oppressed masters of the future,

We shall not be quietly pushed to the corner!

 

It all began with a simple child's song,

And now the angry protest has begun.

It all began with a naive little lover,

And now they are the mightiest fighter!

Written for :iconwordofchen: 's Dilemma. DeviantART have seen fit to push him to the corner of their site, due to his work being highly praised.
They seemingly only do this for Literature works, and not others, due to their own personal preferences.
So: I will not bow, I will not break, I will shut the world away~ ENGARDE I SAY!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconintricately-ordinary:
I like the idea, a lot. I mean, when it stands aside from your stance on Chen, it's really intriguing. In the same way I like poems about wretched men talking about how they are going to go out and break a heart (opposed to a broken hearted poem) I found this special, as a cry for mass mentality to stop (opposed to a call against bureaucracy.)

One line you wrote: Which child started and when will it end? / And how can they see that they pretend? I understand the structure, because pretend rhymes with end- but I'm not sure it is necessarily the best word choice. My interpretation, at least, wasn't that they were pretending- but living a fallacy. Of course, the writer's always right, huh? :)

My favorite stanza is the second to the last. The words carry the power you had intended.

Stylistically, I love how again and again you brought up the notion of music. "Sing song voice" "to the tune the church bells were ringing" "our tune is carried by every man that passes" "began with a simple child's song. The song idea forms an unseen glue which helps hold your piece together. I like it. Good job.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
21 out of 21 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconi-lost-my-way:
I-Lost-My-Way Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I will not fall, I will not fade, I will take your breath away~!
And take it away you did, good sir! As always: Well done!
(and I LOVE your taste in music! :aww: )
Reply
:iconkevinlee11:
kevinlee11 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I like the metaphorical imagery you used; gets the message across very clearly.
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012
Ah, there's another which is MUCH more metaphorical XD
"Here There Be Monsters" XD
Reply
:iconbakuspirit:
BakuSpirit Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist
En garde indeed :nod:
Reply
:iconwindspeck:
windspeck Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful. So much better than the over-emotional drivel that you usually see in free verse.
Hope in deviantart literature: restored.
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
:iconbowplz: Take a look at some of my other work? :)
I don't really like this one if I'm honest ^^"
Reply
:iconwindspeck:
windspeck Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I did. This one is actually my favourite C: It's not the language in particular (I write prose, I couldn't care less about poetic language lol) but the theme.
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
Then look at Anonymous? And meh, I'm posting one that's this but metaphorical ^^"
The dA staff are dragons XD
Reply
:iconacousticrose:
AcousticRose Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
sorry can't favourite it more than once :(
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
Awww, you're adorable <3
Reply
:iconacousticrose:
AcousticRose Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
i know right? ;P
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
And modest :thumbsup:
Reply
:icongeobukseon:
Geobukseon Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Student Writer
It's things like this that make me smile even if it is about rebellion and the downfall of capitalism.
Reply
:iconbattlebrothertherix:
battlebrothertherix Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"I don't wanna change the world...
I just want to leave it colder..."
Light the fuse and burn it all,
Take the path that leads to nowhere...

All is lost again...
But I'm not giving in."
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
:thumbsup:
Reply
:iconsutsuki-sensei:
Sutsuki-Sensei Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
Very cool. ^^
Reply
:iconbatmanwithbunnyears:
BatmanWithBunnyEars Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012   General Artist
There's a certain irony to the fact that this *WordOfChen's piece was just shuffled behind this one, so there's currently no literature on the front page. It's really unfortunate, though. Also, *WordOfChen isn't the only one to encounter this problem; it has also affected ~ScarletDevil1503, me, and others.

I appreciate you helping to publicize the matter. The site admins need to realize that they can't tamper with the system based on their own biases and preferences without us noticing.
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
Yeah XD You're the one that told him last time, right?
But meh, mine's on the front page ^^" So it raises the issue.
Reply
:iconbatmanwithbunnyears:
BatmanWithBunnyEars Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012   General Artist
Yep, that was me. A different one is on the 8hr and 24hr front page now, and for a while after *WordOfChen's piece was kicked off, the 24hr page didn't have any literature at all. Also, still no literature on the 3 day, week, or month front pages. There's definitely some screwy stuff going on.
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
Mhm :/ My thing's up there now ^^"
Reply
:iconbatmanwithbunnyears:
BatmanWithBunnyEars Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012   General Artist
I'm seeing Grow Up by =The-Golden-Sunrise on the front page instead of yours.
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
There's both of them ^^"
But then again, I've got my premium member thingy set to being able to view two pages at once ^^"
Reply
:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Student Writer
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. It's great because it's true. A 'happy' beginning ending with a fighting stanza all with a tune continued =)
Reply
:icongeorge551:
George551 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
Heyo, I have featured this in an art feature thing I was advised to do...also there's a video of pikachu on acid which in itself is a good reason to click the link [link]
:) :) :)
Reply
:icondarksknight:
Darksknight Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012   Writer
That's very... good. Truth inspired, I must say, and very... just, good over all. It's not the best work I have seen from you, but I still like it quit a lot.
Reply
:icontomaolykos:
Tomaolykos Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
YES! The Gold Dragon will join the cause!

Since the dawn of time, he's been here
Forgotten son, testing all our fears
Nature's mistake, he sees no end
The dragon's child, walks among man

For centuries past, many tribes know the tales
Of men not returning, when they've gone there
And those who've returned, can't describe what they've seen
Their hair has turned white, and they've gone insane

Oh, beware the blackend water
The creature has come to take you away
Oh, beware unholy water
On this dying day
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
:thumbsup:
Reply
:icontomaolykos:
Tomaolykos Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
As long as I am not banned...
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
XD If that could happen, I wouldn't risk it.
Reply
:icontomaolykos:
Tomaolykos Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, I know this is an innocent action to help a fellow artist, but I do know these corporations may take things rough.
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
Listen to Therix, he's clever ^^"
Reply
:iconbattlebrothertherix:
battlebrothertherix Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
And risk losing some of their most influential members?
It's a gamble, yes, but an effective one that we can take.
Reply
:icontomaolykos:
Tomaolykos Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I changed my mind, sorry.
Reply
:iconthereverendofdrugs:
TheReverendofDrugs Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:lmao: This is such a paradox. I love it.
Reply
:iconthunderchin:
Thunderchin Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist
I admit, this is catchy. And yes, you are hearing this from a hard-line capitalist.
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
:thumbsup: Thanks :)
It's only about the dA injustice tbh. I'm not against corporations XD
Read some of my other stuff if you like this? ^^"
Reply
:iconthunderchin:
Thunderchin Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist
Yeah, sometimes pursuit of money or personal interests outgrows love of the art itself. That's when it's called greed.

And thanks, I'll be sure to check out what else you have. :)
Reply
:iconvedisdragon:
vedisdragon Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
XDD Breaking Benjamin~!
Did you write the poem? It's...inspiring.
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
Yeah I wrote the poem.
I write all my gallery :)
There's only one which was a collab, and I had a big hand in that too :shrug:
And if you like Breaking Benjamin, a few of my poems have been inspired by them.
Noticeably - If you go on my gallery and look at the left.
The "Reaper Series" Read them Right to Left for the entire story, it'll only take 10 minutes to read all five at most ^^" They're all this length or shorter.
Reply
:iconskylark-13:
Skylark-13 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Student Writer
YES.
Reply
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