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Poetry by DarlingAngel0565

read by Depressinglyhappy

Writing by SecretlyFading


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Submitted on
January 8, 2013
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Sta.sh Writer
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477
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"Define depression for me, will you?"

"Well, not doing anything or having the motivation to, is one."

"And yet..?"

"You're just lazy."

 

"Okay, what about another one?"

"Staying inside all day and being anti-social?"

"And what did you shout at me for yesterday?"

"That's got nothing to do with it!"

 

"...Why did you stop me seeing her?"

"Her who?"

"You know who, the shrink."

"...It was making you worse."

 

"Ah... And how was it making me worse?"

"Well, you were acting... You were arguing."

"Acting human, maybe? Showing my feelings?"

"Shut up and take the dogs out."

 

"...She suggested medication, you know."

"You'd rattle when you walk if you took all the meds."

"Yes, if I took all the meds the doctors suggest..."

"Glad you're finally seeing sense, son."

For inspire the uninspired's dialogue only poem challenge.
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:icondarksknight:
I very much like the sense of the main character. He sounds like the sort of person who just holds everything back, and doesn't let anyone see his emotion, but people don't really want him to change. I really like the end bits, how they say it was making him worse, and he says it was making him human, and were they talk about the medication. That part really impacted the most. It flowed nice, made sense, and over all was just great. Though the reader didn't actually see much, what they hear makes up for all of that. All the dialog had a distinguishable voice, and the words flowed nicely... The only thing that I see wrong is that you don't know who's talking some of the time, but I have a feeling that's how you wanted it. Excellent job.
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:iconsumgie1:
sumgie1 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
Interesting. :)
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
:iconthe-ice-and-fire-war: I would be honoured to have you join my group :)
Reply
:iconsumgie1:
sumgie1 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
I'm sorry but I'm not really into RPing. Thank you for the invitation, though, it's an honour to myself. :)
Reply
:iconthe-k10:
The-K10 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Acting human, what a concept. lol
Interesting as always.
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:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
:iconthe-ice-and-fire-war: I would be honoured to have you join my group :)
Reply
:iconthe-k10:
The-K10 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
An RPG? Sure, it's been a while since I was a part of any sort of group, but I'm game to start again.
Reply
:iconsinsdeed:
SinsDeed Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
XD Looks like I'll have to retract my submission out of sheer embarrassment. Yours is so much better! I really liked how you kept the two speakers separate, with their own voices. It was an interesting conversation.... that made me want to smack the parent. Nice job!
Reply
:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
xD Thanks, but yours was what made me do mine, since I saw it :P
And hey, my friend :icondarksknight: has that picture o.o
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:iconsinsdeed:
SinsDeed Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's a small world, I guess. XD What can I say? Bleach is amazing!

(must....quell...fangirl...squeal)
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:iconforgotten-reaper:
Forgotten-Reaper Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
It's from Bleach? Rukia, is it?
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